Black Folks: Do You Know What Narcissism is?

Black Folks: Do You Know What Narcissism is?

A child should never wonder if their mother loves them unconditionally. I mean- that’s not normal, right? You will be surprise what is consider “normal” to a person who is a narcissist. I dissected and dealt with issues on what wasn’t normal about my childhood. I would ask questions like: Does she really care about me? Is she concern about my well-being? Does she love me unconditionally? Those were the questions I would ask myself constantly. A normal mother is concerned, loving and will always be apprehensive of her child, no matter how young or old that child may be. The first thing my mother will say when she meets someone for the first time is when God saved her from this evil world. My so-called saved; holy-ghost filled, apostolic mother could woo anyone with her charm. There are so many other stories similar to mine and the truth is; most black Christian parents, especially apostolic parents’ struggles with narcissism and use The Black Church as their platform. 

 Narcissists are selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed, and immature individuals. They have no tolerance or patience for emotions and feelings and have no time or cares about anyone except themselves. My mother knew she wasn't the best mother and she also knew that she wasn't loving nor nurturing. She made that known to us (her children) several times. So, why wasn't she doing anything to change this? Let's back up a few. Before I go so deep into why she wasn't going to change, first you as the reader have to understand what narcissism is:

Narcissistic personality disorder, also known as NPD, is a personality disorder in which the individual has a distorted self image, unstable and intense emotions, is overly preoccupied with vanity, prestige, power and personal adequacy, lacks empathy, and has an exaggerated sense of superiority. NPD is closely associated with egocentrism - a personality characteristic in which people see themselves and their interests and opinions as the only ones that really matter.

People with narcissistic personality disorder are not interested in the feelings of others - they lack empathy; they are unable to feel or appreciate feelings which are not their own.

 Below is a video by Dr. Karyl McBride on 'Daughter's of Narcissistic Mother's. I chose this video because it perfectly explains my mother and my own feelings on dealing with being a daughter of a narcissist.