My Story: The Forbidden Question

My Story: The Forbidden Question

Not long after my dream and the first conversation with my mother, my mother and I had another conversation. This time the conversation was short. Very short. She went on and apologized for verbally abusing me since I was a child and that she promise to never mention my weight or anything associated with my weight ever again. But she would break that promise soon after. What was astonishing was what I asked her next. My mother persisted us to move forward from the hurt and pain from the past, and I agreed. But when I asked her the following question, the pain and hurt continued.

I asked my mother if we come spend quality time together and have a 'mother and daughter day'. I had planned on taking my mother out for dinner, getting our nails done, and all that good stuff. I was sure that she would have agreed, but surprisingly she said this: I will only go if your sister Nicole goes. NOTE: My sister Nicole is also narcissistic and I mentioned more of her in My Story: My Narcissistic Sister. But anyways, I was without words when I heard this. To made sure I heard her correctly, I asked her again: Mom, can we just you and I spend time together? She gave the same answer that she did the first time.

I begged my mother twice that we spend time together, and she refused both times. My heart was torn into pieces. From that moment, I felt worst than I ever did before. The person that birth me into this world basically refused to have a relationship with her own seed. I couldn't understand for the life of me why. God needed to mend those pieces together in order for my heart to heal, because I was hurt beyond words. Sure enough, God was on his way of doing just that......